On the 12th day of May, 1990, I'm hoping my latest letter to Lady Darley has reached its destination. Or at least her mood has calmed. One out of two ain't bad. The calm I was hoping for has become anxiety tinged with depression in this latest letter. Hopefully, it's not despair, but I'm still left to wonder.
Dear Chris,
I thought I'd write you yet another boring letter to keep your life at its usual level, with a little help from good old English boredom. Makes good sense what I've just said doesn't it?
Well apart from all the garbage, how are you? I'm a little tense up at the moment. My G.C.S.E. final exams will soon be upon me. I'm frantically revising but I still have Chemistry, Maths, R.E. and Sociology. Yes, I have quite a lot to do still. But I'm getting severely sick of revising so I'm having a break.
I'm a little depressed at the moment. You know the number of times I have talked to you about my friend [Laurie]. Well that tense really is in the past tense. At the end of last term near Easter we had a stupid little argument. I was talking to [Redacted], another of my friends, about a political topic called the pool tax. I snapped at her and we haven't spoken to each other for about another month. We can't even talk to each politely anymore. It's a pity really because I really like her. I thought we could have been quite good friends. But I don't think we ever will now. I suppose I'm a little sad by it. She said I was very [bleep], totally undependable, and at first glance you would think I was a real [bleep]. She said that she thought by not talking to me that it would teach me a lesson. But it may be just me, but I don't really think it would do that to me. It would make me rebel and be wast.
I think "wast" is what she wrote. It is a word, an archaic word, but it's a verb, not a noun. Huh?
Well, can you please set my mind at rest on something? My aunty wrote from Toronto to say that there had been a massive tornado and the stove had been shut off. I haven't heard from [your Raytown friend] for quite awhile and I was wondering if you know what was the matter? Or if she was o.k. on that point?
Is she asking about Toronto, Canada, or Kansas City, Missouri? I'm not sure.
What are you doing this summer? You know that I want to come to America, but if [your friend] doesn't write to me within about a week I won't be able to come. I have to book sixty days in advance before the flight and those sixty days are running out fast. I would absolutely like to come and visit America, but if I can't then I guess I can't, I guess. At the moment my parents are trying to make me go and visit and old friend in Germany. But I just want to come to America. I believe that I would really be happy in America. That will probably be very wrong and I may really hate the country.
This is where I wonder what my parents would have said if I told them at 15 that I was going to get a part-time job (because that is all you can get at that age in Missouri) and take that trip to Disney World, solo, because conceivably we were never going to do it as a family. And this is where the Queen Mother will be quick to remind your humble servant, "Well we took you there, didn't we? And to Williamsburg, too!"
Did you ask any of your friends if they wanted an English penfriend? If they are really nice people then you can give him/her my address. I would be really please if you could do this for me.
I hope you have time to write to me really soon as I'm getting pretty bored without any letters from anybody.
Write soon,
Lots of Love,
[Lady Darley]
She is in her own personal Tower of London, shackled and chained by either boredom or stress. The way out is near, if she can just get there.
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