Where Did All The Money Go?

All right, we get it: the economy stinks. But beyond that simple truth lies a mystery that has us scratching our heads, if not our wallets, wondering how dollars and cents can simply vaporize.

THE OLD GREY LADY, SHE AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE. The New York Times Company's second-quarter earnings are down 82 percent compared to the same quarter last year. The company blames the usual suspects: bad economy, shrinking advertising. However, we get this curious quote from the AP:

Chief Executive Janet Robinson says business was hurt by the "U.S. economic slowdown and secular forces playing out across the media industry."

Does she mean news people aren't saying their prayers?

HANGOVER. President Bush has an explanation for the sour economy: "Wall Street got drunk." According to The Hill, that's what he told people at a closed-door fundraiser last week.

He elaborates, in true Bushian:

"There's no question about it," Bush said. "Wall Street got drunk, that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras. It got drunk and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments."

Fancy Financial Instruments? Gee, maybe we should go back to the abacus.

See it for yourself:



MAKING MONEY THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. An Orlando Wachovia Bank gave counterfeit money to one of its customers, who found out about the funny money when another bank wouldn't take it.

As WKMG-TV reports:

A Wachovia representative said it will not refund any money because it can't verify the $1,000 in counterfeit notes were the same bills [Ulises] Garcia was handed by their teller.

But weeks later, Wachovia did refund $40 to another customer with a similar story, Local 6 has learned.

Garcia is now going to the feds, who wonder if it was an inside job.

With Wachovia losing billions, you figure somebody might've gotten desperate.

DROP THAT CHANGE! Desperation will lead to criminal activity, as police in Naples, Florida cuffed a man accused of stealing 42 cents from a fountain.

As the Naples Daily News reports:

It is not unusual for police officers to arrest people who steal small items from local retail stores, [Police Capt. John] Adams said. Police officers have arrested people for stealing change from fountains before, Adams said.

“He shouldn’t be taking change out of the mall fountain,” Adams said. “It’s not found money. It’s money that’s destined for charity.”

Your Lightning Round wonders how much it will cost to prosecute this case versus simply asking the accused offender to put the money back. A good guess: it's a heckuvalot more than 42 cents.

THE $42 MILLION VIEW. At least Candy Spelling still has money, according to the L.A. Times, describing the hefty going rate for her new condo in Century City. But wait, she's actually downsizing:

After all, the 62-year-old heiress with a reputation for embracing opulence will be moving out of Los Angeles County's largest home -- a 123-room, 56,500-square-foot mansion on six acres in the Holmby Hills neighborhood off Sunset Boulevard.

Her new home will be less than a third the size of the old one -- just 16,500 square feet -- but with a killer 360-degree view spanning the horizon from downtown Los Angeles to Santa Catalina Island.

That's sort of like the government adding only $40 billion to the deficit instead of $80 billion and calling it savings.

Don't take any wooden nickels. We'll see you again when we have time... and money.