Going Rate: Worth at least a matinee for conspiracy theory buffs and curious Catholics
Starring: Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor
Rated: PG-13
Red Flags: Violence (some blood, people burning, and few gross dead bodies)
I wonder who holds more secrets: the CIA or the Catholic Church. Novelist Dan Brown's second book adapted into film digs up religious conspiracy theories and long-running grudges interpolated with one long chase scene. It is a two-hour labyrinth of a movie that explains itself as it goes, in bites small enough for us to digest, largely because of director Ron Howard's skill in refreshing us along the way.
Angels & Demons opens with the death of a beloved pope whose brief biographical description reminded me of Pope John Paul I. Those of you who remember him recall he died mere days after his election. As a child I thought, why do they have to chose some sickly old man as a pope? St. Peter's Square is bursting with the faithful, much as it was after the death of Pope John Paul II, and the Cardinals are getting ready to pick a new head of the Church... if they survive the night. Somebody has kidnapped four Cardinals -- the favorites to be the next pope -- and is threatening to kill one an hour until Midnight, at which time that someone will blow all of Vatican City to Kingdom Come using antimatter created in the CERN supercollider in Switzerland.
Because we can't get Mr. Spock to step over from Star Trek playing on the next screen and fix things a la the warp drive in The Wrath Of Khan, the Church turns to Professor Robert Langdon (Hanks, with refreshingly shorter hair). Langdon quickly figures out this whole ordeal is a revenge plot by the Illuminati, a secret centuries-old group persecuted and purged by the Catholic hierarchy because of their scientific research. Langdon isn't shy about sticking it to the Church or the people who protect it:
"Oh geez, you guys don't even read your own history do you? 1668, the church kidnapped four Illuminati scientists and branded each one of them on the chest with the symbol of the cross. To 'purge' them of their sins and they executed them, threw their bodies in the street as a warning to others to stop questioning church ruling on scientific matters. They radicalized them. The Purga created a darker, more violent Illuminati, one bent on... on retribution."Ah, religious grudges. They last longer than Orbit gum. And nothing says "I hate you" like an explosion using materials generated in the search for a "God particle."
I wonder why the Vatican would call in an expert on religious symbols since the Holy Church could probably find all the answers in its glassed-off, hermetically-sealed, oxygen-controlled archives. Look long enough, and you'll probably also find Colonel Sanders' original recipe along with the formulas of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. Langdon gets into the archives and finds an ancient pamphlet by Galileo, which -- aha! -- contains hidden writing pointing to four churches where supposedly the Cardinals will be killed. Away we go.
The movie runs all over the place uncovering fresh revelations on ancient history and making us wonder once again why movie villains go to such complicated lengths to kill people. Oh, that's right. Radicals don't do anything simple. Mea culpa. Just so Professor Langdon doesn't have to shoulder all the work, he's teamed up with CERN scientist Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer). The lives of thousands rest upon her ability to change a battery. I'll remember that the next time I lose a live shot. Camerlengo Patrick McKenna (McGregor) has got Langdon's back as the temporary head of the Church without a pope. I detect some eagerness to lecture the clergy like his Obi-Wan Kenobi character from the Star Wars prequels, but with a nicer robe this time.
Brown's subject matter prevented Howard from getting access to many of the locations he wanted for this film, but you won't notice it. Every ancient cathedral or sacred location is beautifully photographed with spires of light flowing from from above. I must also confess a soft spot for the Swiss Guards, the most colorful protectors on Earth.
Angels & Demons treads into the conflict between religion and science and comes down solidly on the side of detente. "Religion is flawed because man is flawed," says one Cardinal in a diplomatic statement to Langdon. After inquisitions, indulgences, intolerance and other sins, that's the understatement of a millenium.
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