Monday, January 28, 2013

Super Size Isn't Everything

"Don't you ever eat?"

People ask that from time to time when they see me blow off lunch breaks. I can run on vapor like a pro, consuming maybe two meals a day or just one. A full stomach slows me down, and slow doesn't make deadlines in a newsroom.

My co-workers at KRGV can tell you about the flip side of that. I was known for consuming gobs of Big Macs. The McDonald's down the street would sell them ridiculously cheap and I would grab a couple every night.

"I can't understand it," one of my anchors said. "I eat a Big Mac, I'll gain 10 pounds. You eat one and you lose three."

They couldn't understand how this skinny guy could put down fast food and not die of a heart attack. People keep telling me I need to see the documentary Super Size Me. I still haven't. It's not like I'm trying to become the next Don Gorske.

My parents will tell you how I could inhale McDonald's fries as a kid. They were both appetizer and dessert: a large before the burger and then another large afterward. When I worked at the Golden Arches for a few months in the summer of 1989, I somehow managed to keep myself from chomping up the burgers tossed from the production bin. That was during a previous policy of them making food ahead of time and throwing it out after so many minutes had elapsed.

One time a McDonald's worker handed me an obnoxiously large order of fries through the drive-through window.

"We accidentally made this and we don't want to throw it out," she said.

It was a large drink cup overflowing with fries. This particular location offered a size reserved for gluttons, one step up from the "Super Size" order. I figured they were giving it to me as some sort of valued customer award. Yes, I ate it all.

But I never stuff myself silly on the job... except when somebody brings in Domino's.

No comments: