Monday, December 13, 2010

I Came, I Saw, I Said Nothing

Homeland Security is teaming up with Walmart to fight terrorism. "If You See Something, Say Something," is the theme of the campaign, referring to anything that could be indicative of some impending violent event. Yet the slogan is so broad, I could report dozens of irregularities without even leaving the store:
  • In the pet section, I find goldfish and guppies, but why aren't there any kissing gourami?

  • Why is Sam's Cola always understocked when I do my shopping? Granted, it's usually 11pm on a Thursday night, but the regular brands don't require me to crawl under a shelf to retrieve a 12-pack.

  • Why did someone let this car (at left) park outside?

  • Why, in a store that doesn't sell porn mags, is Cosmopolitan freely accessible right under the National Enquirer with article teases too racy to name in a blog that wants to avoid being caught in people's Net Nanny filters?

  • Why does the Walmart I shop at leave dozens of expensive cameras sitting out unguarded after 11pm, just begging to be lifted by some amateur thief?

  • Why is the staff constantly waxing the floor?

  • Why can't I use self-checkout in the late night hours?
And I haven't even mentioned all those suspicious characters documented by Warning: this site may not be suitable for your eyes, your workplace, or your stamina, but it makes my point. Click at your own risk.

No comments: