From the home office in Peculiar, Missouri...
10) Twittering getting hard on the wrists.
9) Work on revised catechism a real pain in the encyclical.
8) Began speaking Latin at mass one day and realized, "I could be talking about growing dandelions and nobody would know the difference."
7) Cassock itches and the cardinals just rejected proposal to wear slacks.
6) Mitt Romney offered to take job and ditch the whole Mormonism thing.
5) Heard Genesis is looking for another lead singer.
4) Plans to enter into joint venture with Microsoft to create biggest blessed social network on the planet.
3) Genuinely missing the brats and beer from back home.
2) Got shut out of buying "Current" cable channel.
1) Found out Al Pacino is interested in playing him after he gets done with Joe Paterno movie.