Pinal County Deputy Louie Puroll's feisty news conference yesterday -- where he defended his version of the shooting incident that injured him in April in the Arizona desert -- had all the ingredients of great live television: a compelling character, great dialogue, and an intriguing storyline.
Puroll was a soundbite machine, ranting off more quotes than we could fit into 120 seconds of evening news time. He reminded me of the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern with the name I can't mention on a family-friendly website, the one that's now a CBS sitcom starring William Shatner.
Some of the money bites:
"No Sir, I didn't have any anxiety. I didn't need a test. I was there. I did not shoot myself."
"I'm a range deputy. I'm trusted to keep myself busy. I don't have a corporal, or a sergeant or a lieutenant looking over my shoulder every five minutes."
"As I was bringing my rifle up, it flashed in my mind, this is where I'm supposed to holler out, 'stop, police,' that's when his muzzle flashed and that bullet struck me. So I decided it was not the time to strike up a conversation."
"I shot that man, I saw him fall down. He didn't stay there. I can tell you this: he's the first man I shot that didn't stay there."
"I never at any point lawyered up and refused to answer questions. I have answered every single question asked of me by every single investigator involved in this. Anyone who says I lawyered up is a damn liar."
"I had an M-16, a pistol, and a badge. If you need more than that you need to pack your stuff and go home."
"You know how much paperwork's involved if I generate a story?"
"Real life is not a made-for-TV movie."
"Alright, pay close attention cause you're not going to believe this, Until this shooting happened and I got home that night and was watching the news, I'd never heard of 10-70. I do not watch the local news. I don't read the newspapers and I don't care about politics."
"It's not that ordinary, but it's not that far out of the ordinary. I could tell you stories that would make this seem like eating lunch at the Dairy Queen."