My thighs and feet ache for a bed. This comes after a comprehensive tour of Manhattan followed by a visit to the Empire State building.
The Manhattan tour covered a lot of the same ground as the ones I did on Sunday and I wonder whether I wasted money on those "loop" tours. But this one had two stops the other didn't -- the Statue of Liberty and the United Nations. It's that first stop that nearly got me lost. Our guide -- who we will refer to as "Z" to protect her identity -- led us on a Circle Line ferry trip to Liberty Island and Ellis Island. The problem was, she made an announcement I either didn't hear or she never made at all. The key words, unheard: Get off at the second stop, meaning Ellis Island.
We journeyed out there and I got a great look at Lady Liberty from the Hudson River. I rolled video, I snapped pictures. I got off at Liberty Island when the ferry stopped. This is where I walked right past Z, but did she notice? No. Did she say something to me in her Dr. Ruth-ish German accent? No. Did she stop me? No.
I got off and looked for where the rest of the group was gathering... only I couldn't find them. Where were they? I gotta catch up with them! I ran all over Liberty Island looking for them... around the perimeter where people snapped photos of Lady Liberty from up close.
So busy was I, trying to get back with the tour, I didn't even stop to look up at her. Not once did I marvel at her. I had time. I could have taken it. But I panicked, and I was thinking about my next move. Should I wait or should I jump on the next ferry out? I decided the latter.
How could this happen? Obviously noboby else got off at this stop. Why would anybody not get off here? The beauty and patriotism of this island say it all. Were we just supposed to stay on the boat? I don't recall hearing that.
I caught the next boat out and rode it to Ellis. Gray Line's gonna hear from me, I fumed. I had my plan. If I can't catch up with the group, I'll get back to Battery Park on the boat and then either try to find the tour bus or go back to Gray Line and give somebody a talking-to, which is putting it mildly.
But a familiar face was in the line waiting to get on the boat chugging up to Ellis Island. Turns out it's the guy leading the bus that left on the tour before us, the one I got on and then had to get off of because somebody with Gray Line miscounted and left me no room.
"Sir, can I slip in with your group?" I asked. "I got separated from mine."
He looked mildly surprised.
"We don't have enough room on the bus, but we'll try to get you in. Were you with [Z]?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, I think that's her over there."
He was right. I went over to her, and she was glad I made it back.
"Vhere vere you?"
"Where were you?" I said. "I got off at Liberty and didn't see you."
She said she'd told the group to get off at the second stop instead of the first.
"I didn't hear that," I said.
"I heard it," a man in the group said.
"Speak louder," I said, cupping my hands around my mouth, annoyed at why such a critical piece of information wasn't articulated enough, or at least more than once, especially on that ferry where it's hard to hear anything over the engine noise.
"Vell, vhat's important iz you're here."
I let it go, but I still wasn't happy about it. It didn't make sense to stop at Ellis if you only had one stop. The Statue Of Liberty was the money shot in my mind. And since the boat goes both places, why not take your time?
Our group was waiting for the next boat, having found the one about the leave full. So even though I technically missed the part of the tour on Ellis, I had time to make it up. Fifteen minutes was all I needed for a quick run through the Ellis Island Museum."At least you got to see Lady Liberty and we didn't," said the man who spoke up earlier about hearing Z's announcement.
Yeah, I did get to see Lady Liberty. But I still should've looked up, savored the moment, ignored the panic for 60 seconds. I'm supposed to be working on things like this in my life. What a time to forget.
We had a catered lunch in the upstairs room of a Chevy's Mexican restaurant -- only it was warmed up hamburgers, chicken sandwiches, and soda. Z, bless her soul, graciously ordered me a cheeseburger in my absence. All is forgiven.
However, some passengers grumbled about not getting what they ordered, since the sandwiches were delivered exactly to the number of people on the tour bus, about a dozen or so. You'd think they'd throw in an extra just in case. People like me can always take seconds, if nothing else.
The United Nations tour followed, and we saw more artwork than diplomatic work. I guess this is where the term "art of diplomacy" was born. The building sports colorful murals, colorful artwork, a fantastic sculpture made out of jade, and one piece containing the Golden Rule: "Do unto others, as they would do unto you." Not, "He who has the gold makes the rules." But we all know it's the latter more than the former in the real world.
We could walk into the General Assembly room because it was out of session, but we couldn't go into the Security Council chambers because some heavy-duty meeting was taking place on possible sanctions for Sudan.The gift shop is something peaceniks and policy wonks can drool over. The UNICEF items are cute and serve a purpose, but I saw way too many snoozer UN reports for sale on various diplomatic missions and studies. Here's another curiosity: Both Bill and Hillary Clinton's autobiographies are for sale, but where's Jean Kirkpatrick? Where's Ronald Reagan? Where's George Bush 41? Let's remember, it's the first Bush who built the coalition to go after Iraq, which was authorized by a UN resolution. He did your dirty work. That's at least worthy of a softback.
The ground the UN sits on technically does not belong to New York, the U.S., or any country. It's in a no-country land. But the people here live in Diplomatland -- where people actually believe you can talk your way out of anything, study your way out of anything, and spend money to fix anything. Even the tour guides buy this. You drink enough Kool-aid, the sugar will overtake you. Cynical, yes. But let's be real. Talk's cheap. You wanna fight a terrorist? Bring more than your mouth.
Some uptown sights capped off the afternoon, including a quick stop inside St. John the Divine Cathedral. East Side traffic crawled because of rush hour and a doorman's strike. I nearly fell asleep on the bus through a couple of waits in the gridlock.
But the day wasn't done. I had to scale the Empire State Building, just like in King Kong. Getting there took longer than it should have because I mistook the Chrysler building for it. But when I got to the right place, the line was not too long. It took about an hour and fifteen minutes to make it to the observation deck. The view is spectacular at night, to say the least. I have lots of video of it but few still pictures. The digital camera blurs shots when I crank up the aperature control without putting it on a tripod. And I didn't have a tripod.
I grabbed a bite at the McDonald's in Times Square on the way back to the hotel. They're shooting a movie scene there tonight. I don't know what movie, but this particular scene involved two people dressed in huge white wedding dresses. Or maybe they're fairy godmothers? Or maybe they're ball gowns...
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